


I Gotta Tell Them To Myself

by TheGirlInThePinkScarf



Series: TFLN: Phlochte Edition [1]
Category: Sports RPF, Swimming RPF
Genre: Alternate Universe, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-22
Updated: 2017-12-22
Packaged: 2019-02-18 14:12:26
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,812
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13101852
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheGirlInThePinkScarf/pseuds/TheGirlInThePinkScarf
Summary: I don’t trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my ex-boyfriend sometimes.





	I Gotta Tell Them To Myself

**Author's Note:**

> One of my favorite Twitter accounts is Texts From Last Night (TFLN).
> 
> I realized one day that a lot of the texts would make good prompts, so I gathered some of my favorite ones to use as writing inspiration.
> 
> This is my collection of TFLN inspired prompts/fics written for Phlochte.
> 
> Title was appropriately taken from a lyric in “New Rules” by Dua Lipa.
> 
> I hope that you all enjoy this!
> 
> Also, happy holidays everyone!!

* * *

  _I don't have to have you_

_I don't need to need you_

_Just a high that I'm chasing_

_Don't think I'm coming back_

_It's just a relapse_

**_Relapse- Carrie Underwood_ **

* * *

When Ryan wakes up and feels a body next to his, he sighs. He knows exactly who’s sleeping beside him without even having to look. Now that he’s single, the only person that he actually hooks up with is his ex boyfriend. The irony isn’t lost on Ryan. Once he’s done with someone romantically or as a friend, he usually wipes his hands clean of them. But Michael is obviously a totally different story. There’s just something about him that Ryan can’t quite quit yet. He can’t give himself completely to MP again either though. So, they’re stuck in this cycle of randomly hooking up with each other.

Ryan nudges him. “Wake up! I have to go to work.”

“I don’t have to work though. Let me sleep,” Michael replies.

“You can’t just stay over here like you did when we were together,” Ryan argues.

“Why not?” Michael sleepily asks.

Ryan sighs. “Look, we’re not having this conversation right now. I need to go. Just please don’t be here when I get home.”

* * *

Ryan can’t focus at work at all. He teaches water aerobics classes for senior citizens during the day and he’s all over the place this morning. Ryan can’t correctly remember the move sequences and he’s not his usual cheery, high-energy self. When he’s walking out of the pool after his last session, his favorite person in the class taps him on the shoulder. She’s a sweet little elderly woman named Celine who reminds him a lot of his maternal grandmother. Ryan shoots her a smile that doesn’t quite reach his eyes.

“You’re thinking about that boy again, aren’t you?” She accuses.

He nervously bites his lip. “Yeah, I am.”

Since Celine’s husband passed away a few years ago and her adult children moved out of state, Ryan takes her out to lunch every Thursday afternoon. They end up talking a lot about their lives, so she knows all about the saga with Michael. She was the first person that he cried in front of when he found out that MP cheated on him. Celine wiped his tears and told him that he deserved better. Ryan always cringes when he has to admit to her that he fell in bed with his ex again. He usually goes home for a nap and dinner before he has to go to his night job. But he’s afraid that Michael will still be at his apartment. It’s Friday, so he and Celine have already had their lunch date for the week.

“Why don’t I take you shopping and then I can tell you all about it,” Ryan offers.

Celine grins. “Just let me get changed.”

* * *

“You have to keep it in your pants, Ryan!” She exclaims.

“I know, I know!” Ryan agrees.

“But it seems like you can’t do that. So if you still love him, then maybe you need to think about if you want to give him another chance,” Celine advises.

“I don’t know if I’ll ever be able to trust him again, Celine,” Ryan admits.

“Then you need to move on from him. _Completely_. No more booty calls!” She scolds.

“Yes ma’am!” Ryan replies.

* * *

Ryan works as a bartender at a local gay club at night. He gets hit on by his co-workers and by customers a lot, so it’s not like Michael is his _only_ option for sex. Ryan can honestly have just about any guy that he wants. It’s actually kind of boring. The fact that MP wasn’t like other guys is why he was initially attracted to him. Instead of throwing himself at Ryan, Michael just treated him like a regular human being. He didn’t feel objectified and MP wasn’t telling him how pretty that he was every thirty seconds. Even though their relationship went to shit, Ryan doesn’t regret any part of it. It’s almost like thinking about Michael speaks him into existence because suddenly he’s heading toward the bar.

“There’s a million clubs in this city and you just had to come to this one?” Ryan yells over the music.

“Well, yeah. This is the only one where you are,” Michael answers.

Ryan rolls his eyes. “You’re not cute.”

He gives MP a beer because he knows that’s always what he drinks first. Ryan tries to keep himself busy with other customers so that he can ignore Michael. He’s super grateful when it’s time for his break, so he can get away from his ex. Ryan plans on just checking his phone in the backroom for fifteen minutes since he’s not hungry. Before he can make it all the way to the back, he feels someone grab his arm. He’s not at all surprised to turn around and see that it’s MP. He backs him into the “Employees Only” door. Michael slyly slips his hand underneath Ryan’s tight t-shirt as he brings their lips together. They’re not quite kissing, but they might as well be.

“I didn’t get a chance to blow you last night. And you have fifteen minutes to spare right now, so. . . ” Michael whispers.

* * *

“Fuck, Michael!” Ryan grunts as he cums down his throat.

The windows are down in Ryan’s car, but the loud music from the club probably drowned out his groans. After he takes a few moments to catch his breath, Ryan realizes that he only has five minutes left on his break. He awkwardly pats MP on the head as he thanks him for the blowjob. Ryan is caught off guard when Michael sits up and closes the gap between them. His hands automatically reach for the back of his ex’s head as he pulls him in closer. Ryan always gets lost in MP when they kiss like this. His mind is screaming, “stop, you shouldn’t be doing this!” but his body clearly isn’t listening to him. Ryan tugs on the collar of Michael’s shirt and he moans into his mouth. His phone vibrates and it pulls Ryan out of his trance.

“We can’t keep doing this,” Ryan quietly says.

“That’s what you said last time,” Michael retorts.

* * *

Ryan knows exactly what he has to do in order to stop sleeping with his ex. He has a list of rules to follow and he’s pretty sure that they’re foolproof in _theory_. Ryan can ignore MP’s calls all that he wants. It works to temporarily stop him from caving to his charm. The problems arise when he sees Michael in person unexpectedly. Like the time last week when MP showed up shirtless at the gym. Ryan couldn’t escape quickly enough. Michael followed him into the locker room and they ended up having sex in the shower.

Ryan normally ignores the dudes that flirt with him at work. But he realizes that it’s harder for him to resist his ex when he’s horny. So, he figures that if he can get someone else to satisfy his craving that he won’t need MP anymore. Ryan invites the guy back to his place and he immediately accepts. They start kissing as soon as he unlocks the door. Ryan just leads him to his living room because his bedroom seems too far away. They continue making out and groping each other over their clothes for a few minutes. He feels the guy growing erect in his hand. That’s when Ryan realizes that he’s still mostly soft. He sighs because he knows that if he were with Michael, that he would already be hard right now.

“I’m sorry. I can’t do this,” Ryan sincerely apologizes.

* * *

“So, I figured out that I’m not actually still in love with Michael. We just have really, really great sex. And I’m having a difficult time finding someone who’s as good as he is,” Ryan tells Celine.

“So keep kissing some frogs until the right guy comes along!” She advises.

“But I have needs!” Ryan whines.

“That’s why God invented sex toys and gave you a right hand!” Celine counters.

Ryan nearly chokes on his drink. “Celine!”

* * *

Ryan takes Celine’s advice and puts more effort into finding other guys. He does his best to avoid Michael. He doesn’t answer his texts and he varies his schedule to limit how often that he’ll run into MP in person. Ryan almost has a heart attack when he comes home one night and sees Michael waiting for him on his porch. He knows that no matter what his ex says, that he can’t invite him inside. So, Ryan sits on the steps next to MP and asks him what he wants. Of course, he’s pretty sure that he already knows why Michael is here.

“I’ve missed you,” Michael says.

“No, you miss fucking me. There’s a difference,” Ryan corrects him.

“You’re right,” Michael agrees.

“I deserve more than just being someone’s fuck buddy,” Ryan declares.

“Are you saying that you want to get back together?” Michael asks.

Ryan scoffs. “No, MP. I also deserve better than _that_. I need to put you behind me once and for all. I’m going to start thinking with my brain instead of with my dick.”

“I’m just confused because you’re the one that started all this,” Michael reminds him.

“I know! I was desperate and weak. But I’m not anymore,” Ryan states.

“You’re having a surge in confidence right now. But you’ll be back eventually,” Michael predicts.

Ryan doesn’t argue with him because he’s probably right. He’s not so arrogant that he thinks that he’ll never get weak enough to call MP again. Ryan’s still a work in progress right now, but the important thing is that he’s moving in the right direction. He’s seriously working on overcoming his addiction to his ex. Ryan is certain that his road to recovery will have a few relapses along the way. But as long as he keeps pressing forward, then he’ll be fine in the long run. It’s late and he really wants to lay down, so Ryan gets up and turns toward his door. MP touches his hand and he gently caresses the inside of his wrist.

“Sure you don’t want one last fuck to remember me by?” Michael whispers as he kisses Ryan’s neck.

“Fine, just _one_ more,” Ryan agrees.

Ryan hates that he folds like a lawn chair. He talks a good game, but it’s clear that he still doesn’t have a proper defense against MP’s seduction techniques. Ryan takes longer than usual to unlock his door because Michael’s sucking on the sensitive skin of his neck and grabbing his ass. Sleeping with MP makes Ryan feel like shit afterwards, but it feels so amazing in the moment. And he can’t stop himself from getting caught up in the short gratification. At least tonight he can’t.

**Author's Note:**

> I left this ending open so that you all could make your own conclusions!
> 
> I would love to know your thoughts in a comment!
> 
> I’m not sure when I’ll update this next because I’m not exactly following a schedule.
> 
> Once again, happy holidays!


End file.
